Monday, February 05, 2007

A Funny Thing Happened at the Library

The general public thinks that we work in a very dull place and that nothing happens funny in libraries. Well I'm here to tell you that plenty happens and when the temperature dips as it has this week a few funny stories will get the blood flowing and help you through the cold. Here are a few jokes to lighten your day.

Chickens in Libraries A chicken walks into the library. It goes up to the circulation desk and says: "book, bok, bok, boook". The librarian hands the chicken a book. It tucks it under his wing and runs out. A while later, the chicken runs back in, throws the first book into the return bin and goes back to the librarian saying: "book, bok, bok, bok, boook". Again the librarian gives it a book, and the chicken runs out. The librarian shakes her head. Within a few minutes, the chicken is back, returns the book and starts all over again: "boook, book, bok bok boook". The librarian gives him yet a third book, but this time as the chicken is running out the door, she follows it. The chicken runs down the street, through the park and down to the riverbank. There, sitting on a lily pad is a big, green frog. The chicken holds up the book and shows it to the frog, saying: "Book, bok, bok, boook". The frog blinks, and croaks: "read-it, read-it, read-it".

Light Bulb Jokes:1. How many academic librarians does it take to change a light bulb? Just five. One changes the light bulb while the other four form a committee and write a letter of protest to the Dean, because after all, changing light bulbs IS NOT professional work!
2. How many catalogers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but they have to wait to see how LC does it first.
3. How many cataloguers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one provided it is in AACR2.
4. How many reference librarians does it take to change a light-bulb? (with a perky smile) "Well, I don't know right off-hand, but I know where we can look it up!"
5. How many library system managers does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them as the manual was lost in the last move (or flood).
6. How many library managers does it take to change a lightbulb? At least one committee and a light bulb strategy focus meeting and plan.
7. How many library technicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Seven. One to follow approved procedure, and six to review the procedure. (8 if you count the librarian they all report to)

What happens when you cross a librarian and a lawyer?A: You get all the information you want, but you can't understand it.

Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor?Because she was in the non-friction section.

A young boy refused to do his homework, and his father was trying to convince him to do it. He said to his son: "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
The son replied: "Well, when Lincoln was your age, he was President!"

Did you hear about the schoolgirl who was so excited about a book she found in the library called How to Hug?It turned out to be volume eight of an encyclopedia.

A kindergarten teacher asked the children just before she escorted them to the library, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in the Library?"Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."

What did the detective do when he didn't believe the librarian's story?A. He booked her!

When a goose goes to the library, what books does she look for?A. Peoplebumps books!

If you travel to Eastern Europe, why won't you find any books in Prague's public library?A. They're all "Czech"ed out!

What building has the most stories?A. The library, of course!

Where does a librarian sleep?A. Between the covers.

Jim said, "My dog tried to eat my library book."" What did you do?" asked the librarian." I took the words right out of his mouth."

Once a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it." The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"

Fire Destroys Bush Presidential LibraryWASHINGTON (Reuters) - A tragic fire on Monday destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush. Both of his books have been lost.

For more library humor join me at the Grand Traverse Resort May 7-9 we can share stories about library patrons and have a great time. Remember registration is taken care of with the Gates Foundation grant, we won't make fun of Bill or Melinda, so contact the Grand Traverse Resort and book your room. Don't forget to nominate a librarian or trustee from a rural library even someone who has been to every and I mean every rural conference.


Deb said...

Dear, subtle Marian - someone nominate this woman for a conference award!

Marian T. Librarian said...

Deb: It comes as such a suprise that you think I should be nominated. Can a person be nominated in more than one category??

Anonymous said...

Absolutely. Nominations are like voting in Chicago.

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