Jo Dereske mentioned the Rural Libraries Conference 2007 in her online newsletter. Check it out at http://www.jodereske.com/newsletter.htm

Your brainstorming!

During the Rural Libray Sustainability Program sessions, the group brainstormed ideas in the following categories:

Library Connections
Technology Connections
Upgrade and Maintenance
Staff and Patron Training
Funding
Outreach
Advocacy

Take a look at the WebJunction site for Michigan and you will see the compiled lists.
http://www.webjunction.org/forums/forum.jspa?forumID=332

Copy of e-mail sent to RLC attendees

Greetings Everyone!

You are getting this e-mail because you were on the registration list for the Loleta Fyan Small and Rural Libraries Conference 2007. It was great to see so many people at the Grand Traverse Resort! If you were not able to join us, you can still take advantage of the information on the blog and on WebJunction (see below for details).

Here are some follow-ups:

1. If you submitted a CEU Record Sheet at the end of the conference, we will be mailing to you your CEU Certificate. We had indicated on the form that certificates would be mailed no later than June 9, 2007, so please know that we are working on them for you. If you have a level 7 certification that has expired since you attended the conference, you will be able to send in your re-certification paperwork once you receive your certificate and we will retroactively re-certify you if all is in order.

2. Those of you who attended both days of the Gates Rural Library Sustainability Program (RLSP) at the conference will receive a follow-up from WebJunction staff that will include a post-assessment link so that you can go in and complete this survey online. There is an incentive for your trouble - we will have a drawing from those who submit their post-assessment and you could win a coupon for free WebJunction courses. (Taking WebJunction courses will earn you CEUs.)

3. We received a lot of feedback from you via the evaluations! The conference evaluations are being compiled and, when complete, will be posted on the RLC area of the Library of Michigan website. We appreciate the time and consideration taken to provide your thoughts!

4. For those of you who did not receive a USB flash drive after the RLSP portion of the conference, we do have some left and would be glad to give one to you, while supplies last. Please send an e-mail to Jenn Houseman at jhouseman@michigan.gov asking for a RLC flash drive. We prefer to send them via MeLCat delivery, so please indicate if you are on the statewide delivery. If not, include your mailing address.

5. The content from the flash drives is posted on the WebJunction Michigan forum for rural and small libraries at http://www.webjunction.org/forums/forum.jspa?forumID=332. You will also find other items of interest there, so take a look! Familiarize yourself with the WebJunction All Aboard community by going to the main page at http://www.webjunction.org/forums/.

6. Finally, there are two more things to look for as follow-ups to the Rural Libraries Conference. One is that I will be posting a document of the compiled brainstorming results from the RLSP program. Remember the Post-It sheets around the room on the walls with the very colorful sticky notes? There were some great ideas captured and they will be posted both here and on the Library of Michigan RLC web site. Also, I will be mailing out to you your action plan post card(s) so you will have a reminder of your thoughts for follow-through.

If you have questions or comments, let me know! Enjoy the long weekend! -Sheryl

p.s. People are still posting to the RLC blog, so you may want to take a look there. Marian T. Librarian posted her letter to Roger. Take a look: http://rlc2007.blogspot.com/

Gen X/Y Programming, Services, and Collections

Here is a link to the program that was presented at RLC by Angela Semifero and Laurie St. Laurent of Marshall District Library: http://rlcgenxy.googlepages.com/. Check it out!

Post conference follow-ups for you!

Hi All,

Well, I certainly needed to catch up on my sleep after the conference! It was great to see you all there!

I thought we could continue to post information here on this blog and also begin to use the WebJunction community area to ask questions and share ideas/best practices. (Take a look at the conversation about web 2.0 at http://www.webjunction.org/forums/thread.jspa?threadID=4066&tstart=0 or post something under the Michigan section of the rural libraries area at http://webjunction.org/forums/forum.jspa?forumID=332.)

Jenny Levine wrote about her time at Rural Libraries Conference on her blog, the Shifted Librarian, at http://www.theshiftedlibrarian.com/archives/2007/05/08/big_library_or_small_library.html

Michael Stephens also wrote on his blog, Tame the Web: Libraries and Technology. See http://tametheweb.com/2007/05/thanks_rural_libraries_20.html

Evette Atkin blogged her comments during Jenny and Michael’s presentation. See http://theunlibrarian.net/blog/?p=52

I will add more tomorrow! Gotta go ;-) -Sheryl

Marian's letter to Roger

Dear Roger:
Well another Rural conference is under our belts. I can't believe taht the first one in 1985 would start me on a journey that would involve meeting so many wonderful people.

This year I worked with Deb Bacon-Ziegler in promoting the conference. I learned to BLOG and wrote an informative column which I think might get sindicated. Deb and i also became friends sharing fashion tips, shoes and nail polish. Now she's gone, gone to Chicago to work for a cooking school library--I've always wondered if virgin oil is really virgin???

Oh well- as to the conference, it was another great experience. I learned a lot, everything from library law to how many librarians it takes to screw in a light bulb.

Speaking of maintaining the library we have redone the library director's office. I contacted Trading Spaces and that good looking carpenter Carter who is a native of Traverse City, came and installed a new desk, shelves, a computer desk for my new Apple IIe computer and anything else that would keep him working in my office..

In the library our new computer lab was installed. Some of the libraries in our coop bough Dell's--we got a better deal from WalMart. We got 10 computers, 10 flat screen monitors but only 5 keyboards. People in Lake Neverwuz are accustomed to sharing so we don't see it as a problem.

Speaking of sharing-Maureen Burns shared some important things for us to remember. We need to smile-even in the face of adversity. I tried that but have had trouble picking the bugs out of my teeth. I met Maureen several years ago, she has changed my life. I was shy and retiring, like you Roger, wearing navy and black--but not anymore. Today it's color, color, color and bling, bling, bling. I've also been working with Ann Holt. Ann's retiring in 2007 and I think I've convinced her that sequins are the secret in retirement. I also hope she will join our "Dancing with the Stars" program at Lake Neverwuz.
Our line up for the May program will include:
* Ann Holt and Brad Pitty doing the Capital Salsa
*Jim Seidl and Mindy Gates doing the Techno Tango
*Sheryl Mase and Lance Werner doing the Legal Sidestep
*Roger and June Mendel doing the Knit one, Pearl one Waltz
and finally
*Gail Powers-Schaub dancing the 50% State Aid Samba (You only need 50% of the dance couple for this one).

The programs at the conference were fantastic.
Lance Werner told us all about the law. As many times as I've heard him I am always surprised to find out something new. This time I learned that a FOIA was not a new energy drink, but was a request for information about things that happen at the library. He said the library minutes could be read by anyone- public information he called it- I think I'll call Judge Judy and verify this!

I also found out what polices we need regarding library cards for minors-with all the disclaimers, exceptions, transfer of identity from a minor to a consenting adult, I have to find a library card supplier that does 3x5 library cards.

Also with the Internet in order to get e-rate discounts, I have to have a CIPA cup, or something like that to protect children. We used bibs years ago.

Sheryl Mase did a fantastic job, especially with the awards. Charlevoix and Beulah libraries swept up many of the awards. I was hop____ing for an award this year, but I guess I'll have to wait another two years. Wait_____ing is half the fun of get___ing an award-Hey

Jo Dereske was our speaker Tuesday after the awards. She's a librarian and an author and has written a number of mystery books about a super sleuth librarian, Ms. Zuka. This reminds me of the time we found a body in the Lake Neverwuz County Village City District Public Library. After a closer look we found it was not a dead body-but was our board chair, Horace Dewey who sat too close to the library paste and the drawer that we store our Magic Markers. A little brandy from Ruth Harrison, reference librarian's drawer and he was as good as new--well as good as 98 years old good. He's been chair of the board since 1947. He's been a great board member. He bought our quanset hut library building from Army Surplus, wrote the grant for our Winnebago children's addition and helped us barcode the collection for our Horizon/Sirci/TripleI/Mercedes/Minicooper Circulation system. It's a little slow, until you go into overdrive /turbo mode.

Food at the Conference- Almost like being on a cruise- Speaking of cruises I just returned from a Holland America cruise. This is the cruise line that has the Dam ships, Westerdam, Oosterdam, Rotterdam- but now it also sales on the Great Lakes and their new ship is called the Beaverdam. The decor is deer heads, antelers, red plaid on formal nights and when say fresh catch of the day, they mean it.

But I digress:
At the conference there were a few rough moments when coop directors and interested parties discussed the cuts. At Lake Neverwuz we have done something to protect against the cuts:
1. We have joined all 13 coops. This way we'll get some service from each one.
2. I took the money I saved from registration for this conference and spent some quality time at the casino. I was losing for a time, ubt in the end I have enough to pay for delivery for the next eleven days.
3. Staff have been alerted that we may be cutting services. Patrons will be issued toilet paper one sheet at a time: additional sheets may be distributed with a written doctor's excuse.
4. Lights will be lite on a need to light basis. Patrons will be issued flashlites to locate books in the stacks and heat will be turned on at 9 a.m., Noon, 3 and 5 p.m. for a 15 minute period of time.

During the conference I talked with a number of lbirarians who read my BLOG and wanted to know more about our WIKI Wedding at the Library Program. For those who don't know this is a fund raiser that has become very popular.

1. We have a collection of wedding dresses; nine of them were donated by Elizabeth Taylor for brides to check out on their library cards.
2. Weddings take place in the library, Len the janitor got his minister's license on the internet, using the Gates Public Access computers.
3. We have a deal with the local funeral director and get all our flowers fresh from him. We do have to remove signs like "Dear Mother" "Great Dad". , but that only takes a minute or two.
4. We cater the reception using Rachel Ray's book "Wedding dinners in 15 minutes".
5. We have our own selection of toule in various colors.
6. Music from our CD collection.

Weddings cost from $150 and up. It's a very popular service. Each bride and groom get a library card, no fines for six months and if things don't work out, we have "Do It Yourself Divorce in 3 Days".

Char Ezell did a program on the look of your library. She showed examples of libraries with clutter, too many signs, too many nicknacks. She recommended having a focal point in the library, something that will make you pause when you enter. Some libraries have aquariums, some have fireplaces. Presently we have a wall painted Mary Kay pink that features our Chick Lit. I think I will propose to the board an 8 person hot tub situated near the entrance. Our board meetings could be held there and when we have visiting legislators they can join us and while we do our presentations on library financies, Len the janitor can turn up the heat.

We will also shelve our books by size and color; this should give the library a Fen Shu__ay feel and make shelving books easier then that Dewey way.

There was a program on Seniors and Technology. With the baby boomers maturing this is an open field for programs. The session at the conference gave me great ideas to serve this population.
Here are the top ten ideas for working with seniors:

1. Plug in your computer.
2. Press the Power Button to turn it on.
3. The mouse is moved on a pad not on the screen
4. Corrections are made using the keyboard, not by applying whiteout to the screen.
5. e-mail does not require stamps.
6. On-line dating works best if you post a picture of yourself when you were 27.
7. Don't contact the guy from Nigeria who needs help securing $11,000,000 from a bank in Pakistan.
8. When filing your income tax on line you can't claim your dog as a dependent.
9. Never give personal information, always lie.
10. When in doubt, go to the library for the answers.

We also recieved from Gates a thumb drive. These are wonderful, some people use them to store computer info. I have some other uses:
1. A whistle for emergencies, however only dogs can hear the whistle.
2. A GPS device to find staff that are not working.
3. Heat seeking devices to find the cold dead coop directors.
4. Press the red button and it becomes a Swiss Army Knife.
5. It also serves as a cell phone; you can talk into it, unfortunately you can't hear the responses.

The bookmobile will get an extreme makeover- The library logo, done in cerise, flamingo and charteruse with a hint of lemon will be painted on three sides. New white wall tires and the addition of a snack bar will enhance service. Our new bookmobile motto is: Food for the Body, Food for the Mind.

A new library staff outfit in the library colors is being designed by Ann Holt.

Male staff: Polka dot shirts in flamingo and white with charteruse shorts.
Female staff: Lemon yellow halters, and cerise mini skirts.
sandals, flipflops and boots for foot ware. Who said library staff were boring.

Oh, I almost forgot the baskets. What a great idea. Everyone that won a basket was thrilled, the one I like the best was the coop director basket it had:
1. A map of Michigan with lines drawn for the new coops.
2. A one page state aid report with two questions: Do you want money? and Who is designated to turn out the light?
3. A pink slip.
4. A bottle of gin and for those who don't inbibe a bottle of sparkling Traverse City Cherry juice
and 5: Resume building or 100 best places to retire.

I actually saw two coop directors fighting over the basket in the parking lot: I thought I heard them saying--No you take it, no you take it. I didn't stick around-thought things might get ugly.

Well I must go, we're getting ready for our seniors field trip to the Lake Neverwuz National Forest. Hopefully we won't lose anyone on this trip.

It's bye for now from Lake Neverwuz, where the men are strong, the kids all go to storyhour and the women have two ladies rooms for every one men's room.

Marian

food!

If you plan to purchase a meal ticket for a guest to attend any of the luncheons or dinner banquets during the Rural Libraries Conference, please contact me by Monday, April 30 at 5 p.m.

I do not yet have a final price per ticket, but they will be in the $15-25 range depending on the meal.

thanks - Deb

bacon-zieglerd@michigan.gov

I'm Getting Ready are you??

Well it's less then two weeks before we get to experience another Rural Libraries Conference. I am so excited. I have been packing for several weeks. I like to have the right outfit for every occasion as well as the right shoes. I do tend to pack light though this time. This year I have cut it down to nine suitcases. I won't be able to drive the bookmobile to the conference this year so I had to drastically cut down on outfits.

I am trying keep up my spirits this year what with the 50% cut in state aid looming and the drastic things it will do to my cooperative's services. Lake Neverwuz library has been draped in black for the last few months to get the message across to our patrons that services will be cut if this reduction in state aid goes through. We also have black bookmarks, which I am finding that the public has a difficult time reading our message, maybe next time I will just border them in black. We also produced some READ posters featuring the local coroner, the funeral director and 6 pall bearers standing around the library saying read here before its dead here. I doesn't rhyme very well but people have understood the message. Oh well I am still hopeful for a "miracle".

In the mean time I do have a suit case full of comfort foods and spirits. Stop by my room for macaronic and cheese, meatloaf, mashed potatoes and chip dip. One has to keep up a good front. See you all at the conference, watch for me I bought a pair of "High Heeled Sneakers" and am ready rumba.
Marian

How to Make Your Library Great

Goodness, can it really be almost a month since this blog has seen any action? It has been a busy spring with the 13 state librarian town meetings and final RLC planning.

We are counting down to the conference. Please be sure to complete the Gates preassessment survey before you arrive at Grand Traverse Resort:
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=140052549858

You will also want to check out How to Make Your Library Great and other articles in the April issue of the Making Places newsletter from the Project for Public Spaces.

Register, Register, Register

I checked with Deb yesterday and found that there are about 300 people registered for the Rural Conference. I am happy to see so many have registered, but there is still time for you procrastinators. Send in your registration today, you can't find a better bargain anywhere, no registration costs. Even the local "1/4 dollar General" or TJMaxx can beat that price.

The agenda for the conference is great with some programs for all interests. Best of all it's time to get together with old friends and make new friends.

See you at the Casino, I am planning on doubling my state aid money for next year.

Conference Activities

Rural Libraries Conference:
The deadline to register for the Rural Libraries conference is extended to April 13th. Registration is free. Be sure to complete and return a registration form so we have a chair for you to sit on and delicious meals to eat!

As you prepare to attend the conference, you may want to make sure you have some good walking shoes and your jaw is exercised. The hospitality/local arrangements committee has activities planned that will keep you walking, talking, laughing and smiling. Dress is casual and comfortable.

Passport to prizes:
To encourage networking and sharing, all conference attendants will receive a Passport. Each attendee will start off with one sticker in their passport. Throughout the conference, attendees will have numerous opportunities to earn stickers. The stickers earned will be used as currency to bid on gift baskets that will be auctioned off during the closing luncheon on Wednesday.

Dessert reception:
The conference starts will a “bang” on Monday and includes guest speakers Michael Stephens and Jenny Levine at the opening luncheon. After dinner, with keynote speaker Maureen Burns, there will be a dessert reception at which the State Librarian, Nancy Robertson, will make remarks. Then, an ice cream social, author fair, and musical entertainment will take place. The author fair will have numerous local authors who will sign and sell books.

Baskets:
Gift baskets will be given away at several events during the conference. Baskets will come from two sources: donations from libraries and donations from companies. The donated library baskets should be handed over to the committee during registration. “Special” gift baskets will be auctioned off during the closing luncheon on Wednesday.

Libraries are encouraged to donate baskets for the conference. Baskets typically follow themes. In the past, there have been scrapbooking baskets, massage item baskets, and baskets filled with local items from the town supplying the basket. If you have questions regarding the baskets, contact Holly Mercer.

Meal Mixer:
To encourage networking and sharing, the hospitality/local arrangements committee will be sponsoring a seating arrangement mixer during lunch on Tuesday. Prior to lunch, tables will be marked with a color. As conference attendees enter the banquet room, they will be handed a slip of colored paper that corresponds to a color at a table. You are encouraged to eat at the table that matches your color. Those that do will earn passport stickers.

Shop and Swap:
You are encouraged to bring material from your library to share with others. There will be 6 categories:
Promotion of Programs (Flyers, etc.)
Bookmarks
Children’s craft idea
Library newsletter or brochure
Annual report
Building project survival tips

The “Shop and Swap” items should be given to hospitality/local arrangement committee members during registration (Committee members will be sporting a Home Depot aprons during the conference). The “Shop and Swap” items will be set up on Tuesday during the morning break. All items will be made available for attendees to look at and take.

The committee will select the top ten items from each category. Conference attendees will then vote for a winner in each category on Tuesday night at 7:00. Category winners will receive a certificate.

Book discussion:
There will be a book discussion on Tuesday at 8:00. Librarians wishing to attend the book discussion are encouraged to read one of Joe Dereske’s Miss Zukas mystery books before attending the book discussion. In April, a list of discussion questions will be available to assist in the smooth flow of dialogue during the discussion. Jo herself plans to drop in for the discussion and promises that she “takes criticism well!”

Register today as you don’t want to miss this free and exciting conference!

Registration form: http://www.michigan.gov/hal/0,1607,7-160-17451_18668-142226--,00.html

LibrarianSpace - Library 2.0 on Ning

This is very cool - a social networking site for those of us who are into library 2.0! You can create a profile, join discussions, and "friend" others (like MySpace if you are on that).

Marian - I expect you to friend me, OK? I'm 02092DEB on Library 2.o.

-Deb

P.S. my personal call number is 020.92 DEB and yes, I know that isn't a proper application of the Cutter-Sanborn Author Table!!

Great TV Ad

We at Lake Neverwuz Library are always looking for ways to advertise the library. Check out this site and see a neat TV ad for a library. http://youtube.com/watch?v=rQZk0CKgkIg

Remember to register for the Rural Libraries Conference coming this May 7,8 and 9. See you at the Grand Traverse Resort.

Marian T.

policy & practice - wifi service

From John Blyberg's blog:

Headline: Alaskan Library lets down Patron

When I moved to Lansing last summer, I (gasp) cruised for wifi before Comcast could connect me at home. I now have a wireless network at home and assume that my service gets borrowed on occasion.

For those of you offering wireless service to your customers: what do you think? does your Internet policy address after hours access?

Busy Day in Libraryland

Energizing and exhausting at the same time! This video was created for library staff in service day at the St. Joseph County Public Library in South Bend, Indiana.

Watch closely and you'll see one of our keynote speakers, Michael Stephens.

26 days till Spring

As I look over the 25 foot snow drifts in the library parking lot here in Lake Neverwuz I am happy to hear that Spring will arrive in 26 days, which means that we will have only 7 more weeks of snow and ice. In May we usually have the last of the snow melt and that will coincide with this year's Rural Libraries Conference. Yes, May 7-9 at Grand Traverse Resort we will all be together again. Don't miss our reunion by forgetting register or reserving a room. The Gates Foundation is a paying for the registration, which includes the meals, so your library has to pay for the cost of the hotel. What a deal!!

I am anxious to get there so you can all see the results of my Extreme Makeover. You know when one gets past 30 parts of us start to go "south". Well I took some of my DDA beautification fund and used it to do a tuck here and there. It's all part of the let's bring Lake Neverwuz into the 21st century, a program sponsored by our Downtown Development Authority (DDA). I also received some grants for our staff and you just wouldn't believe the changes including the increase in male usage of the library.

I also thought we should have a cell phone at the library. Our only problem is that the cell phone reception is very poor unless you cross into the next county. VeryHorizon,ATTTT, Sprinter is working on getting a tower in town, they first tried putting a tower on the bookmobile but found that reception was only good around the bookmobile and because it changed location so often you were easily cut off during a conversation, this proved to be very problematic when the mayor was talking with the Governor concerning the 50% cut in state aid. Their conversation was cut off just when he said______.

We do get USF discount for the phone. Our schools have 98 of the 100 students qualify for the reduced lunch program so our discount is 99.99999% so the phone only costs us 39cents a month, and with the kind of service we get that's about what it's worth.

Enough about us, register for the conference so we can get together at the bar and talk about services and about the librarians who are not attending the conference.

Marian

Rural Libraries In Focus - WebJunction

In Focus Webinar: Social Software and the Rural Library

Each month the Rural Library Sustainability Project is presenting an hour-long webinar focused on a particular topic of importance to the work of sustaining Rural and Small libraries. Join us next on February 28, 10:00 AM PST/1:00 PM EST for Social Software and the Rural Library: Blogs, Wikis, IM, and more! How are these tools being used in libraries? What is the potential? What might the future hold?

http://webjunction.org/do/Navigation?category=13496 for more information and to register.

MeL ReMix is here!!!

Click on the logo to check out the new look and functionality!

MeL features subject pathfinders and a new section — MeL Michigana — for images from Michigan’s past.

Brave new world!

Is Lake Neverwuz a candidate?

FYI from MLA....

2007 Spring Workshop - Library Extreme Marketing Makeover: Real Stories, Real Problems, Real Solutions

The Marketing & Public Relations Roundtable Board invites libraries to apply to have their materials or toughest marketing problems receive an Extreme Makeover by our board members and other marketing professionals within the library and marketing/public relations professions. Two libraries will be chosen based on answers to the questions in the application. At the workshop, marketing experts will present the before and after results to the group. Attendees will then have an opportunity to get their own marketing questions answered and materials assessed by our expert panel.

Marian - there may be something in this for marketing your wedding services...

Fun? Anyone?

Never fear, we will have fun at RLC! The web page has been updated with information on keynote speakers and hints at the activities the hospitality committee is planning for us in the evenings.

The Gates curriculum will not be a boring, Ferris Beuller "anyone? something d-o-o economics?" type lecture. I promise. You will be networking, brainstorming, and rarin' to go by the end of the conference.

I've also heard that the coop directors will be hosting a party room I mean "hospitality suite" at GTR. That crazy band of 13! Marian - are you in on this? I've never asked about Lake Neverwuz's coop affiliation...

Keep warm, everyone!

A Funny Thing Happened at the Library

The general public thinks that we work in a very dull place and that nothing happens funny in libraries. Well I'm here to tell you that plenty happens and when the temperature dips as it has this week a few funny stories will get the blood flowing and help you through the cold. Here are a few jokes to lighten your day.

Chickens in Libraries A chicken walks into the library. It goes up to the circulation desk and says: "book, bok, bok, boook". The librarian hands the chicken a book. It tucks it under his wing and runs out. A while later, the chicken runs back in, throws the first book into the return bin and goes back to the librarian saying: "book, bok, bok, bok, boook". Again the librarian gives it a book, and the chicken runs out. The librarian shakes her head. Within a few minutes, the chicken is back, returns the book and starts all over again: "boook, book, bok bok boook". The librarian gives him yet a third book, but this time as the chicken is running out the door, she follows it. The chicken runs down the street, through the park and down to the riverbank. There, sitting on a lily pad is a big, green frog. The chicken holds up the book and shows it to the frog, saying: "Book, bok, bok, boook". The frog blinks, and croaks: "read-it, read-it, read-it".

Light Bulb Jokes:1. How many academic librarians does it take to change a light bulb? Just five. One changes the light bulb while the other four form a committee and write a letter of protest to the Dean, because after all, changing light bulbs IS NOT professional work!
2. How many catalogers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but they have to wait to see how LC does it first.
3. How many cataloguers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one provided it is in AACR2.
4. How many reference librarians does it take to change a light-bulb? (with a perky smile) "Well, I don't know right off-hand, but I know where we can look it up!"
5. How many library system managers does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them as the manual was lost in the last move (or flood).
6. How many library managers does it take to change a lightbulb? At least one committee and a light bulb strategy focus meeting and plan.
7. How many library technicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Seven. One to follow approved procedure, and six to review the procedure. (8 if you count the librarian they all report to)

What happens when you cross a librarian and a lawyer?A: You get all the information you want, but you can't understand it.

Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor?Because she was in the non-friction section.

A young boy refused to do his homework, and his father was trying to convince him to do it. He said to his son: "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
The son replied: "Well, when Lincoln was your age, he was President!"

Did you hear about the schoolgirl who was so excited about a book she found in the library called How to Hug?It turned out to be volume eight of an encyclopedia.

A kindergarten teacher asked the children just before she escorted them to the library, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in the Library?"Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."

What did the detective do when he didn't believe the librarian's story?A. He booked her!

When a goose goes to the library, what books does she look for?A. Peoplebumps books!

If you travel to Eastern Europe, why won't you find any books in Prague's public library?A. They're all "Czech"ed out!

What building has the most stories?A. The library, of course!

Where does a librarian sleep?A. Between the covers.

Jim said, "My dog tried to eat my library book."" What did you do?" asked the librarian." I took the words right out of his mouth."

Once a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it." The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"

Fire Destroys Bush Presidential LibraryWASHINGTON (Reuters) - A tragic fire on Monday destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush. Both of his books have been lost.

For more library humor join me at the Grand Traverse Resort May 7-9 we can share stories about library patrons and have a great time. Remember registration is taken care of with the Gates Foundation grant, we won't make fun of Bill or Melinda, so contact the Grand Traverse Resort and book your room. Don't forget to nominate a librarian or trustee from a rural library even someone who has been to every and I mean every rural conference.

Back from Seattle

I recently attended the ALA Midwinter Conference in Seattle, Washington and my head is still spinning. I toured the new Seattle Public Library and was amazed at what I saw. This building is glass enclosed, with the various levels in the building kind of floating inside. The colors were vivid with the conference level painted automobile red, floor, walls and ceiling. As usual I picked up a number of ideas that I will implement at Lake Neverwuz. They have four hundred computers available for the public to use. It makes our 10 Apple IIe's and the Commodore Lab look sick. The Seattle Public Library has been so popular that the library has even been rented out for a wedding. At Lake Neverwuz we are taking that a step further. Our staff is being trained as wedding planners. We are a one stop shopping place as long as you have a library card. We help with the proposal, planning for the wedding and the food and assist with selection of gowns and tux. We've had so many pe0ple coming in to the library to find out about weddings that we came up with this new service. Jack, the maintenance man, drapes the library in toile and lights, Tussy, does the bouquets, (we get the flowers from the local funeral home and save a bunch), we have a special collection of previously owned wedding dresses. One dress was never worn, the groom ran off with the maid of honor the night before the wedding. We have made arrangements with the local churches for ministers to preside and even have our own Elvis. John from the Friends does an Elvis impersonation and this helps the Friends raise some extra cash. We have been working to get a Melville Dewey to also perform weddings but this guy has been so busy at ribbon cuttings for new libraries that it may be months before we can get him. Prior to the weddings we hold classes on etiquette, planning the honeymoon and a special "Prozac can be your friend"for our bridezillas. It's been very popular. I was hoping to do a session at the Rural Conference but Deb wasn't sure this would fly with the committee.

Oh well, I think the programs Deb has lined up for us are exceptional. Please remember to nominate deserving people for the various awards, sometimes the people you see everyday are deserving of an award, or even the people who write blogs. Make your reservation today for the Rural Libraries Conference.

Nomination deadline extended to 2/16/2007

Don't miss out! Nominate a colleague, trustee or Friend for a RLC Award. Visit http://michigan.gov/ldds and scroll down a bit for full details.

The nomination deadline is now Friday, February 16, 2007.

Deb

P.S. Has anyone nominated Marian yet? You know she's a bit touchy on the subject, being the Susan Lucci of libraryland...

Happy Y2K7

Remember Y2K and the disasters that were to occur when the clock struck twelve. Here it is Y2K7 and the only disasters that have occurred is a reduction in state aid, I've got more wrinkles and weigh in at 2K. Christmas in Lake Neverwuz is always a delight. The library celebrates the 12 volumes of Christmas. Each day before December 25 we feature a special book which culminates in the book entitled "The twelve step process to loose fat". Because there are so many other holidays that occur during the same time period we devote a room at the library for each celebration. It works out well except we have a difficult time celebrate "boxing day" for years we have tried to get Mike Tyson or Levander Holifield to make an appearance, but their always too busy. Maybe next year I can get our cooperative director and the director of our largest library in the cooperative to go a few rounds.

This year there was no snow so many of our decorations did not have the same festive look that they have had in the past. Our Friends group was disappointed that we couldn't get the snowmobile delivery of books going this year. No snow, No go.

Story hour at the library was great. Santa brought one of his reindeer who can play jingle bells by shaking his antelars to the music. It was fantastic. I was dressed in my Mrs. Santa outfit. I sewed it myself using the choicest of fabrics and trims. The ermine trim was one I "bagged" last year. For the craft we did gingerbread library buildings. The best one was little Frankie L. Wright's version of the Chicago Public Library. The other craft was very popular, "10 year old fruitcake and what to do with it" The oldest fruit cake brought in for the program was 37 years old and the lady had made it into the cutest bird house.

Well that's all from Lake Neverwuz for now. Remember to register for the conference May 7-9. Registration opened December 22. There is no registration fee but you must make your reservations with the Grand Traverse Resort. Please remember there are no beds allowed in the Casino. Happy New Year.

Marian T. Librarian